Radical Bereave,emt

Radical Bereavement 

Death and life has forever been inextricable. It is not uncommon to find those who cope with such a primal force through disenfranchised methods of grief. Eros and sex serves as a taboo outlet for those who are struggling on the existential level with death. For some it may feel as a state of catharsis that releases them from the drowning feeling of sorrow. While for others it may serve as a radical liberation when faced with its uncommon dichotomy.

The Ouroboros is an ancient symbol derived from Hermetic and Gnostic tradition that represents life's continuous cycle of life and death in the depiction of a snake or rat eating one's own tail. While it has a wide variety of interpretations depending on one's own belief, it can lead to a psychoanalytical reason as to why people find themselves searching for a form of production when barbed by the siphoning hands of death. 

When the living is suddenly sifted through your grasp by the sands of time it stirs a mixture of heavy emotions. Lament, pining and torpor course throughout the soul and manifests itself in the body. Heavy aching limbs, a knotted neck and the heart's decay are all signs of sulking in deaths current. But how does one get out of it? Does rumination bring them back in a form that is not a devastating melody? Are you happy seeing what you lost in the gaps of sunlight? Do you feel immortal when standing over their tomb? The individual is paralyzed, they cannot move with purpose, their screams cut by the throats reverberating angst and the life they once saw is enervated out their crimson stained tasserated eyes. They too wish to be dead in a sense, to simply be reduced to a state of nothingness and become something akin to a stain on the ground they quiver on. To lose all sense, to unbecome, to unbridle oneself and melt into an eternal state of sleep is a natural reaction. So why does one indulge in the exact opposite, doesn’t that imply they are more similar than we realize? In mystical traditions such as esoteric Buddhism or Hinduism, some practicioners may engage in magickal sex or ritualized masturbaition to achieve a state of enlightenment. To them and for many, the experience of compassion or sexual ecstasy allows oneself to dissolve the barriers between flesh and divinity, enamoring the individual in feelings of love and creation. Truthfully, I cannot blame them for believing that certain aspects of love somehow rationally transcends physicality and is more than scientific reductionism. It's the very thing that constitutes life and is the desire that biologically keeps us from reproducing at such a rate. However, life doesn’t only have to be manifested through sexual means in order to cope with death. One can attempt to find God in simple things. The sudden grounding that comes with the swaying of trees, the humanity that resides in an excessive laughter that brings you to tears and the simple words “I love you.” can sometimes melt deaths frigid grasps even if it's peace is ephemeral. Sexual acts however, enhance the life presented in the former acts, if done correctly it can invoke the invigorating feeling that floods your body and tells you your alive. Through this intense feeling of sensuality, the exposed individual can reach a state of psychological enlightenment. Intense experience allows you to be closest to the moment, grounding in your skin and forces you to stop existing in rumination. Feelings of guilt, regret, nausea and mental sickness come to a strange halt when flooded with grounding oneself in the present experience. 

Sex can also manifest as a form of radical liberation. In this context, it is the withering of the soul under the constraints of conformity that causes the individual to rebel in extreme methods of liberation. When someone neglects their base desires, the urges multiply and build up under their psyches shadow only to be released in abnormal behaviors. When the desire or aspect of the soul is not either regulatory channeled, confronted or alchemized into something else it bubbles in ignorance and explodes consciously or unconsciously. The soul withers under an environment that restricts such needs from being met and doesn’t educate on ways they can be alchemized or released, it will find its way out the fingertips or mouth like thorn punctures. History has shown that sexual repression often leads to its violent tail biting through protests, individual extremism or unspoken suffering. We can try through religious movements, laws, prohibitions, whatever physical or mental acrobats that may revolutionize the consensus towards sexuality; however, we cannot and shouldn’t stigmatize the very things that make us human. If one does not recognize the discourse within themselves or confront their sexual aspects then they are subjecting themselves to mental turmoil and inevitable transgression. Society often frames it in negative connotations and in some cases those connotations are ABSOLUTELY more than deserving, I will not be going into explicit detail on specifics. 

Repression breeds radicalism. The porn industry, for example, is absolutely detestable and yet we lay ignorant to how unethical it is in order to channel our desires. Resorting to the unconscious advocating for an industry that makes millions off the sex trafficking of both minors and unconsented adults is a horrifying reality; And yet we continue to reject our souls desires, ultimately letting them grow until they burst out in a truly unethical means of expression. This form of sexual acts is not liberation, this is illusory freedom through hedonism. Only when one either channels or alchemizes their desire into something greater that aligns with their reconstructed soul can they call that liberation. There is no God to be found in unconstructed impulsion that strays you further from true alignment.